Character1 Goals, Anxiety, Living in the Present#
I learned a lot this time: goals, emotions, neuroplasticity... I planned before the Spring Festival, I want to make a breakthrough during the Spring Festival, and study hard!
So I made a plan, sent it to my friends, went home after work, and started my holiday life. My goals are simple: do a Python project, learn English (adult self-help always starts with learning English), watch a movie, piece of cake; but...
- Day 1 (2.9 New Year's Eve)
Busy! The traditional rule at home is that I must help my mother worship the gods, cook, and do housework on New Year's Eve, so I only had the morning to explore what Python projects to do.
Summary: Made a flask demo; ran 3.34km. - Day 2 (2.10 New Year's Day)
Explored some Python projects again, found no interesting projects, then went to learn web3, and went home in the afternoon.
Summary: Learned web3 knowledge, learned English. - Day 3 (2.11 New Year's Day)
Studied web3 in the morning; blockchain, smart contracts, chains... reviewed some forgotten knowledge; my uncle came to visit in the afternoon, so I didn't study.
Summary: Extensive listening, blockchain knowledge. - Day 4 (2.12 New Year's Day)
The first day I really had free time, but didn't study much.
Summary: Ran 3.03km. - Day 5 (2.13 New Year's Day)
Learned English, went home. - Day 6 (2.14 New Year's Day)
Learned about solar punk, learned English, ran 6.09km. - Day 7 (2.15 New Year's Day)
The genius strike, English. - Day 8 (2.16 New Year's Day)
English, how the economic machine works, Indonesia travel guide. - Day 9 (2.17 New Year's Day)
Set up a system with Notion, returned to Shenzhen.
Writing up to this point, I can't help but sing a song: "Whenever it changes, you will know that time has passed."
Although the output is very small, my emotional journey has been ups and downs, full of sweetness and bitterness.
With great enthusiasm, then decline, and finally exhausted. The first three days were when my motivation was highest, but because of family matters, I couldn't put all my energy into studying. On the fourth day, I finally had free time, and there was no excuse not to study, but I stubbornly refused to study. The blazing fire of the first three days burned up all my fuel, and I drove onto the slow lane, living a life of fishing for two days and drying nets for three days. I studied when I wanted to, learning irrelevant things, reading idle books, and studying miscellaneous subjects.
If you ask me if I'm happy with my life, I can only secretly shed a tear. Because I want to accomplish something, even though I know I'm a procrastinator, I still wrote down my goals and plans, wanting to make a big difference during the Spring Festival. Didn't I feel any guilt or sadness during my leisure time on iPads? This is the second point of this article: anxiety and enjoyment (living in the present).
Between daydreaming and taking action, our inner selves are constantly wavering. The energy consumed in this internal struggle is what we often call internal friction. Only we ourselves know how hateful and painful it is, but in the midst of pain, there is a hint of sweetness. The inner dialogue goes like this: "Hey, you're already anxious enough, come and play," "I'm anxious even when I'm playing, I'm already making progress, let's stop here."
Furthermore, people are likely to immerse themselves in this anxious state of inaction because they yearn for action. The eccentric said, "Everyone secretly desires things to become dramatic. When something brings you great conflict and contradiction, anxiety and tension, and a surge of adrenaline, you suddenly become heroic, your emotions soar, and you can instantly become something more powerful than yourself." I have experienced a simplified version of this feeling. I tried to convert anxiety and pain into action, but I found that there was still a missing ingredient in this conversion that I didn't understand. As for what it is, further exploration and learning are needed...
Character2 Inspire#
It is precisely because I have experienced the pain of internal friction that I admire those who do not experience it - Gu Ailing! It is difficult for people to live in the present moment, but Gu Ailing is the person I have seen who lives most in the present. Because she can participate in a skiing competition in the morning and review her paper and prepare for an exam at night. She is not anxious. I have hardly heard her say, "Oh, I have an exam tomorrow, what should I do today?" No, that's not the way she lives. She lives wholeheartedly in today, completes today's competition, and practices. This is really amazing.
Based on my experience this time, it is not so difficult to detach from the mind and focus on doing things. Often, as long as you make up your mind to do it for 5 minutes, you can immerse yourself for 30 minutes. Although someone like me will play with my phone, slack off, and experience internal friction in the 30 minutes before the first 5 minutes, after trying it, I found that this friction is decreasing. I no longer resist entering a state of learning, and the transition between tasks is smoother than before. I suddenly realized that this is a sharpening process. As I sharpen, the blade begins to show its brilliance.
Character3 Proceed#
Next, I need to solve the process of anxiety and internal friction.
- Continue sharpening the blade and give myself some time.
- Adapt to the circumstances: Since I know I will be busy for the first three days of the Chinese New Year, I might as well take it easy and store energy on the slow lane. Next time, I will put easier tasks at the beginning and truly enjoy the Chinese New Year, movies, and the winter sun. Achieving goals is important, but enjoying the process of achieving goals is also important~
Character4 Other: The Source of Fuel#
TO BE CONTINUE